


Sex is a Religion, Darling

by xlightless



Series: gimme your attention [2]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Casual Sex, M/M, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 17:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5974852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlightless/pseuds/xlightless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I'm so sorry. I didn't even introduce myself. I'm Kim Himchan, the resident aphrodisiac,” he says with a smooth smile.</i>
</p><p>In which Himchan won't admit he's fallen for the absurdly tall sophomore in his philosophy class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex is a Religion, Darling

**Author's Note:**

> This was written mostly because I wanted to explore Himchan and Junhong's relationship in the Love is a Collision au. I don't know, this is just a bunch of words mashed together, let's be real here.
> 
> (crossposted from my aff)

Himchan meets Junhong in philosophy, discussing the meaning of life and having joined existential crises after class. Himchan finds out Junhong is a plucky nineteen-year-old sophomore, bright eyed and hopeful and honestly a ray of sunshine in their own personal hell.

They study Monday and Wednesday nights, slowly questioning their lives together through convoluted and bullshit answers as they work on the homework.

But those are problems better saved for next week.

Right now, Himchan has a hot body underneath him and a dick inside of him.

“Oh, fuck, right there,” Himchan moans, his palms pressing into Yongguk’s chest. His eyes are twisted shut, but he can feel Yongguk’s smile when he leans up to press his lips to Himchan’s collarbone.

Yongguk’s left hand rests on Himchan’s hip, rubbing small circles into the skin. His other hand comes up to Himchan’s dick, moving at an impossibly slow pace.

Himchan lets out a shaky breath. His entire body is shaking.

“Fuck, I need you,” Himchan breathes. “ _Please_.”

Himchan feels Yongguk’s laugh vibrate through his body, deep and bone-shaking. Himchan feels his dick twitch. He begins to move his body, his back arching.

“Tell me what you need,” Yongguk groans. His hands go to Himchan’s hips, stilling him, and begins to thrust up.

Himchan gasps, his hands turning into fists. “I… Fuck, I don’t…“ His words trail off into a moan. “God, just fuck me.”

Yongguk laughs again. He flips them around, lifting Himchan’s leg above his shoulder, wrapping the other one around his waist.

It doesn’t take much for Himchan to lose himself.

It’s just that Yongguk has a way of unraveling Himchan so quickly.

He sets a rough pace from the beginning. It’s too much for Himchan to keep up.

"Oh yeah! Fuck! Right there! Harder!" Himchan exclaims, his hands twisting in the sheets.

When Himchan climaxes, he can’t stop the scream that comes out of his mouth. His back arches, cum shooting in thick strings. Yongguk continues until he spills into the condom, burying his head into the crook of Himchan’s shoulder.

They lie down on the bed, trying to catch their breath.

Himchan reaches over to the nightstand and cleans himself up with a tissue.

Yongguk takes off the condom and throws it into the trash.

“Okay, you can go now,” Himchan says before Yongguk can crawl back into the bed.

Yongguk stops. “Wait, but wha––“

Himchan closes his eyes. “Shhh. You’ll ruin the moment.” He doesn’t hear Yongguk move. He frowns. “Now leave.”

Yongguk quickly gathers his clothes, slipping into his jeans and shirt, and walks out of the bedroom.

When Himchan hears the front door close, he opens his eyes and sighs.

“Himchan! I got a question for you!”

That sounds a lot like Junhong. Himchan grabs his phone off the nightstand and checks the time. _12:06 AM_. What’s he doing over here right now?

Stretching, Himchan pulls on a pair of sweatpants. If it’s just Junhong, this should be fine. He’s mature enough to handle sweatpants and no shirt. He digs in the nightstand’s drawer for painkillers and pops one into his mouth.

Himchan walks down the stairs and into the living room. Junhong sits on the couch. Someone else sits beside him. He doesn’t look as comfortable as Junhong does.

 _Ah shit_ , Himchan thinks. He was not anticipating this. Still, they saw him come down. When he meets eyes with Junhong, he can’t decipher the emotions in them. He walks past the other man–– _he’s pretty cute_ , Himchan briefly thinks––before sitting himself next to Junhong.

“It better be good,” Himchan says, pushing his damp bangs out of his face.

“Do you know any good gay strip clubs?” Junhong asks.

Strip clubs? What does Junhong need to know about those? He smirks. “You know I need payment, right?”

Himchan places his hand on Junhong’s thigh, testing the waters. Junhong’s eyes drift down Himchan’s body, and it’s obvious to see the lust in them.

“Yeah, I know,” Junhong replies, but his voice is surprisingly level.

Himchan backtracks. He can’t be doing this. Not with Junhong. He pats Junhong’s thigh and stands up. “Good, because I need help with that philosophy paper.”

//

Himchan avoids Junhong for the entire week.

“Sorry, I’m doing something with my frat,” he says on Monday.

“I gotta take over Jieun’s shift at work,” he says on Tuesday.

“I gotta study for my anthropology test,” he says on Wednesday.

On Thursday, Junhong corners Himchan in the student union as he’s getting lunch. Literally.

Junhong comes up to Himchan with wide strides and a determined look on his face. He isn’t usually so intimidating, especially with his features still so childish, but right now, he looks a little terrifying. His height is definitely helping him right now.

“Okay, what the fuck, bro,” Junhong says.

Himchan tries not to drop the styrofoam box of Panda Express in his hands. “What are you––“

“It’s obvious you’re avoiding me,” Junhong says. His eyebrows are furrowed together in irritation. “I thought you needed help with your paper?”

“I’m just…” Himchan presses the soft styrofoam edge in between his thumb and index finger. “I’m just really busy this week.”

Junhong huffs, but he turns around, leaving Himchan alone with his fried rice and orange chicken.

Himchan takes a deep breath. He doesn’t think he’s meant for love––at least, not the romantic kind.

His girlfriend in high school dumped him after two months. His boyfriend in his sophomore year of college cheated on him with some freshman who still had acne. His other boyfriend had a weird fetish or something.

Either way, Himchan is done falling in love.

Sex, on the other hand, is _perfect_.

There’s nothing personal about a one-night stand.

He’s free to do whatever he wants.

All’s fair in lust and war.

Honestly, Himchan doesn’t know what to think of Junhong.

Sometimes, he wants to get into Junhong’s pants, but he also wants to do things with Junhong he’s never done with other people he’s wanted to fuck.

He wants to map Junhong’s body with his fingertips. He wants to get lost in Junhong’s eyes. He wants to mark Junhong and make sure nobody else will claim him.

But that’s territory Himchan hasn’t tread in a long, long time, and he doesn’t think he remembers the way out.

//

Somehow, Himchan lets himself be dragged by his frat brothers into bar-hopping around downtown. They’re loud and obnoxious when they’re drunk, but it’s free drinks and Himchan isn’t one to turn down free drinks.

Daehyun tags along because he gets along with literally _everyone_ in Himchan’s frat, but he doesn’t have more than a few drinks.

Which Himchan is grateful for because that means he can get fucking _wasted_ and not have to worry too much.

They find themselves in a swanky bar with dancers and everything. It’s very flashy and expensive-looking. The group flocks to the women on stage, shouting and whistling.

Jihwan, one of Himchan’s brothers, walks up to the bar to buy drinks for everyone else.

One minute, he’s talking and then the next, he’s grabbing onto the bartender’s collar and shouting in his face.

Himchan is about to stop them, but Daehyun beats him to it. Jihwan storms out and Daehyun begins talking to the bartender.

Himchan recognizes him as Junhong’s friend. What was his name again? Young-something. Young… _Youngjae_. He doesn’t look too bad in a tie and button-up.

But, seeing the look in Daehyun’s eyes when he talks to Youngjae stops Himchan. He obviously likes Youngjae. Himchan can’t get in between that.

Maybe he feels a little envious of them.

Himchan turns around to look at the women strut around in skimpy bikinis, but he just wishes he had a beer and Junhong.

Somehow, in the early morning hours, Himchan finds himself in a motel with another man, thrusting shallowly into his mouth. He didn’t plan on this, but he’s not complaining. He doesn’t remember the guy’s name completely. Jongup, maybe? He’s incredibly good with his lips. Better than Yongguk.

But Himchan doesn’t see Jongup. in his mind, he sees Junhong. He feels Junhong’s lips slide down his dick. He feels the pads of Junhong’s fingertips press against the soft skin at his hips. He feels his nails scrape against Junhong’s scalp as he tugs on the brown strands.

“Fuck… Junhong,” Himchan whispers.

Himchan doesn’t even realize the name came out of his mouth until Jongup is coming up, lips swollen and red.

“Who’s Junhong?” he asks, his voice low against Himchan’s ear.

Himchan turns red. He can feel his cheeks burn all the way up to his ears. Did he really say that?

“I… I’m sorry,” Himchan says, frantically pushing Jongup off of him. “I gotta go.”

Himchan hastily pulls his underwear and pants back on. Jongup doesn’t say anything and the look on his face is unreadable. Himchan needs to get out of there, but his mind is hazy and his fingers are trembling. He throws a couple bills at Jongup to cover at least half of the motel fee and walks out.

The cold air blowing against him is just barely enough to get him to focus, but not completely. The alcohol makes his head swim.

Himchan pulls out his phone, but the screen pulsates and the words blur together. He taps on Daehyun’s contact. He waits for Daehyun to pick up, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Himchan?”

Even though he can’t completely comprehend the world around him, he knows that isn’t Daehyun’s voice.

Himchan frowns, squinting at the screen and realizes he called Junhong instead. _Fuck_.

“Himchan? What’s going on?” Junhong asks, his voice obviously concerned. “Are you okay?”

“I’m…,” Himchan pauses, trying to find his words. He considers hanging up. But it’s Junhong. “I’m at a motel. Help me.”

“What motel?” Junhong asks. Himchan can hear rustling on Junhong’s side. “I’ll pick you up.”

“No, no, just…tell Daehyun,” Himchan says. The words are coming out before he can think. “Daehyun will come.”

“What motel?” Junhong repeats, his tone more insistent. Something jingles. A door slams.

Himchan cranes his neck to look up at the blinking neon sign. “Sunset Skies.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” Junhong says. “Don’t move, okay?”

Himchan sits on the sidewalk, his back leaning against the wall. “Okay.”

Junhong hangs up. The dial tone echoes in Himchan’s ear. He slowly puts his phone in his pocket.

Why did he call Junhong?

He picks at the flaking paint on the wall, pressing the flakes in between his thumb and index finger and rubbing the powder it leaves behind. His nose is running. He sniffs, wiping the sleeve of his jacket on his nose. His eyes droop, sleep threatening to take over him.

“Himchan!”

Himchan looks up.

Junhong sits in his black used Hyundai, leaning against the center console to look at Himchan out the passenger side window. He gets out of the car and helps Himchan up.

“Himchan what the hell are you doing out here? You’re freezing!” Junhong exclaims. He opens the passenger side door and guides Himchan inside.

Himchan doesn’t even realize he’s trembling until he sits in front of the heater.

Junhong gets into the car and begins driving. “What happened?”

Himchan doesn’t reply. He doesn’t know what to say. He can’t find the words. They’ve disappeared from his mind. He stares straight ahead at the passing lights and the white lines disappearing underneath the car.

Junhong sighs.

Ten minutes later, Junhong stops in front of Himchan’s frat house.

“Will you be okay?” Junhong asks.

Himchan turns his head to look at Junhong. The streetlight casts an odd shadow on his face.

Himchan wants to reply with Yes, but he doesn’t. He leans forward, his hands moving to cup Junhong’s face, and pulls him in for a kiss.

Himchan leans back, not entirely sure why he did that, but he did it and he has to get out immediately. He moves to get out of the car, but Junhong locks it and that is currently way too much for Himchan’s drunk ass to handle.

“Himchan, turn around,” Junhong says quietly.

Himchan looks over his shoulder. He’s surprised to find that Junhong looks…confused. His eyes are wide and questioning and shining so brightly. He looks like a child, lost and in search of guidance. Himchan stares at Junhong, equally lost.

How is he supposed to help Junhong when even Himchan doesn’t know what he’s doing?

“I have to go,” Himchan just says.

Junhong sighs again. He unlocks the door and Himchan stumbles out to his frat house.

When Himchan gets inside, he nearly breaks down.

//

Himchan wakes up the next morning with the worst hangover he’s probably ever had. He groans as he sits up, barely remembering what happened last night. His head throbs painfully. His mouth is drier than a desert.

He remembers Junhong, though, with too much clarity that it can’t be considered normal.

He remembers pressing his lips against Junhong’s.

He remembers the childlike naivety in Junhong’s eyes.

He remembers––

His phone vibrates on the nightstand, too loud and jarring against his eardrums and he fights the urge to groan as he picks it up.

When he unlocks his phone, he sees it’s a text from Junhong.

_Hey, I’m having a dance competition this Friday. It’d be nice if you could come._

There’s a smiling emoji after it.

Himchan sighs, placing his arm on top of his eyes to cover the light coming in from the window.

//

Like Junhong had requested, Himchan finds himself in the campus’s main theater. It’s not the first place Himchan would think of for a dance competition. He sits in the velvet seat, watching as Junhong’s group walks onto the stage. The lights dim and the music starts.

There’s something fascinating about the way Junhong dances. He’s fluid and energetic, but there’s something playful underneath the seriousness. Just barely there, but Himchan finds himself smiling anyway. He pours his entire being into the routine, his confidence oozing out of him like it’s overflowing.

When the competition is over and everybody files out out of the theater, Himchan finds himself drifting backstage, searching for Junhong.

It’s…closure. He needs to put these feelings to rest.

Himchan finds Junhong talking to the others in his group. He’s a lot taller than them, almost an entire head taller. Himchan stops a couple feet away, contemplating just turning around and forgetting it all.

“Himchan?” Junhong calls out. He breaks away from his group.

“Hey,” Himchan greets.

“You came,” Junhong says with a wide smile. “What’d you think?”

“You did good,” Himchan replies. He takes a deep breath. “Can I talk to you?” He peeks over Junhong’s shoulder at his dance group. They’re sneaking glances. He leans closer to Junhong. “Alone?”

Junhong blinks. His smile slips away. He takes Himchan’s hand and leads him further into the theater. He leads Himchan into a small room just barely big enough to fit them both of them (HImchan thinks this might be a literal storage closet).

“What’s up?” Junhong asks.

Himchan hesitates. “It’s about what happened last Friday.”

Something changes in Junhong’s eyes. Something hopeful.

“I… I was drunk. I’m sorry if I made you believe I was thinking clearly.” Himchan doesn’t know why it’s hurting him so much to say this. His chest throbs, but he forces the words out.

“You know, I’m getting real fucking tired!” Junhong shouts. Himchan flinches as the sound bounces around in the small room. “What am I supposed to think when you kiss me one night, but then you push me away the next!”

Himchan can feel Junhong’s frustration emanating off of him in thick waves. He’s incredibly scared. He doesn’t know what to think, what to feel. He doesn’t know if he’s feeling love or lust or––

“Just… Please,” Junhong says, his voice dropping into a shaky whisper. He looks lost again, like he’s ten and looking for answers Himchan hasn’t completely unearthed yet.

But in that moment, Himchan feels like he’s decided. If everything explodes into millions of fiery pieces, at least he can say that he did something right with his life. Himchan reaches up to hold Junhong’s face in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Himchan says, and he means it. He brings Junhong’s face down so he’s inches from Himchan. “Really.”

Junhong’s eyes dart across HImchan’s face, searching for God knows what. His eyebrows furrow. “What are you––“

Junhong doesn’t finish because Himchan surges forward, catching Junhong’s lips with his own. It’s more of a collision than anything. Teeth clash against each other. Noses press together.

“I… I love you,” Himchan breathes. He can’t remember the last time he said that. It’s become so unfamiliar to him at this point, but he thinks he can get used to it. If it’s for Junhong.


End file.
